“You’re in My Body” Part 18 “House of Music” by earthtomaggie
House of Music
Half an hour later we’re dry, in fresh clothes and in the kitchen, me making dinner and he’s sitting at the metal table with his guitar. He’s watching me while I boil noodles, chop up celery and wash rucola, while he plays, nothing in particular, just a couple of tunes.
“Maybe I’ll hear you sing when the baby’s born…” he muses.
I look at him confused. “What? What differences does that make?”
“Well, I figured you might sing it to sleep and I’ll listen behind the door.”
I laugh. “I actually thought that its daddy would sing it to sleep, since he is a famous rockstar…”
He grins. “You thought wrong, my dear!”
I shake my head smiling, and turn my attention back to my task.
“How about we do it together?” he suddenly asks, quietly and deep in thought.
I turn back around and look at him. “Yeah, I’d like that.”
He looks up into my eyes and holds out his hand. “Come here,” he whispers, and when I take it he pulls me close.
“I love you, with all your insecurities and your beautiful voice.” He pulls me down to kiss him and I willingly follow.
“I love you too… But you should let me do this now; otherwise we’re never having dinner. And as your mom told me today, I can’t let that happen anymore, since I’m eating for two now…”
He chuckles. “Oh Mom…”
I move back to the sink to wash the rest of the rucola.
“You could write a lullaby for the baby,” I smile.
“Maybe I will… That’s a sweet idea.”
He’s quiet for a minute before he speaks again. “I’ve been thinking about how we could tell the Echelon.”
“We could post the sonogram and write something witty with it.”
I grin. “Let me guess: you’re still missing the witty part.”
He laughs. “Sort of.”
He becomes quiet again, playing little melodies on his guitar. It sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.
I make a salad dressing out of olive oil, balsamic vinegar and some parsley. I add salt, pepper and a little sugar, and turn to put the cooked noodles into the sieve, when Jared starts singing and I recognize the song: it’s Justin Timberlake’s “(Another Song) All Over Again”, a song about second chances and starting over. It’s one of my favorite songs ever. When he starts to sing the chorus, my knees get a little wobbly.
“So please give me another chance
To write you another song
And take back those things I’ve done
Cause I’ll give you my heart
If you would let me start all over again.”
I walk over to him and put my arms around him from behind. Together we rock back and forth while he plays and sings. When he gets to the second chorus, he looks at me and winks. I smile and surrender.
With a small voice I sing the second chorus with him. He smiles encouragingly at me, and the warmth in his beautiful eyes tells me he means every word. When I stop singing, he keeps strumming, but doesn’t start the bridge.
“That was beautiful, but I know you can do more.”
“How do you know that?”
He grins. “I know that because I already stand behind doors and listen to you sing.”
I blush crimson. “You wouldn’t.”
He gives me an apologetic shrug. “I do, often. Come on, Maggie-cakes, take the bridge.”
He has me at “Maggie-cakes”. That used to be my nickname when we first started dating, every time he tried to get me to do something he’d sneak up behind me and pull me close to him and whisper “Come on, Maggie-cakes, do it for me!”. Needless to say, he usually got what he wanted.
I start singing: “Baby boy, you’re all I’ve got. Don’t you leave me standing here once again- cause I’ll give you my life, yes I would, if you would let me try to love you…”
Here he takes over again, and finishes the song. After he strums the last chord, I wipe away my tears and look at my cooking.
“I’ve ruined the noodles.” I laugh.
“I don’t care. I’d eat overcooked mac & cheese everyday if that means I’ll get to hear you sing.”
I start melting the cheese and cook the celery while he keeps strumming away. When I’m almost done, he sets the table and lights some candles. When I get finished, he helps me carry it onto the dining table and gets some water.
While we eat, I tell him about the story in the gossip magazine and my faux-pas at the grocery store.
“You should wear your glasses once in a while, if you can’t tell black from platinum, hon.”
I make a face before laugh. “Noooo… I don’t like wearing them, they make such big shadows under my eyes, I look like a drug addict.”
“I think they look hot on you. Secretary style. He lowers his voice. “We should do that soon…”
I look up to him through my lashes. “Whenever you got copying for me to do…”
Jared almost spits his food over the table when he bursts into giggles. We laugh and talk, we feel free. It feels so good to be at ease with him once in a while.
When we’re done, we put away the leftovers and he fixes us some ice cream. We go upstairs into the piano room and Jared puts the soundtrack to my favorite movie, “Pride & Prejudice”, on. Together we snuggle on the couch, wrapped in a blanket and eating ice cream. I lean against his chest and he has one arm draped around me.
“Have you already thought about possible names?” he asks me.
“I have some ideas, but if you don’t like them, that’s fine too.”
“Tell me,” he smiles.
“Fine, but don’t laugh, okay? If it’s a boy, well, I’ve always liked old names from the bible, you know? Like Adam, Benjamin, Jonah or Noah. Noah is my favorite.”
He’s quiet for a moment, thinking about it. “I like Noah. That’s a nice name.”
“Yeah! Wait, do you want the child to have your last name, or mine?”
I take a breath to answer him when he already interrupts me.
“Before you say something, think about this: I’d like you to have my last name one day too. So if you can picture yourself as “Maggie Leto” in the future, then maybe the baby’s name should be Leto too.”
I beam. Gosh, he just said he wants to marry me in the future. I snuggle myself deeper into his chest.
“Yes, I’d like that.”
His grip around me gets a little tighter and I can feel him smile against my hair when he kisses it. He rests his chin on top of my head.
“Noah Leto. Noah Leto. Sounds good, doesn’t it?” He sounds content. I just hum in agreement.
“What if it’s a girl?”
I smile against his chest. “Okay, look, there’s a story behind this, okay? When I was in… 7th grade I think, my best friend from kindergarten and elementary school, do you know who I mean?” He nods. “Well, we went to some sort of summer class in the American house in the town she lived in back then. And there was this girl, she worked there, she was beautiful and became like an idol to us. She was from Michigan, and her name was Peyton. And one night we talked about how much we love that name, and that, if we should ever be in that position, we both want to name our baby girls Peyton. But since we can’t do that both, we agreed that whoever has a baby first would get the name. And since she has no kids yet, I win.” I go silent and smile fondly when I remember my friend, whom I haven’t seen in such a long time. “I know it sounds childish, but I still like that name, you know? After all these years…”
He fondly caresses my back. “Peyton… Do you know what that name means?”
“Yes. It means “from the fighter’s farm”.”
“Peyton Leto. Sounds good too.”
“Don’t you have any ideas yourself?”
He exhales slowly. “See, I don’t want the child to have a name that’s completely weird but I have the tendency to give things weird and ancient names that have a really deep meaning. I don’t want the child to hate it’s name one day and I don’t want to give a huge name to a little kid. So I prefer the names that you picked out, they’re not ordinary, but they’re also not totally strange.”
I smile. “Maybe you’re right… I’m glad you like the names.”
He hums in agreement and runs his long fingers through my hair.
“I’m also glad that you found some peace with the baby…”
“I’m so sorry Maggie… I was so scared, I didn’t know what else to
We’re quiet for a couple minutes. The house is silent, I only hear our breaths and Jared’s heart.
“I’m going to miss you when you go to Germany,” he mouths into my hair.
“I’ll miss you too… But I have to go. I have to visit my family before the madness starts.”
“Oh come on… They can come visit us, you don’t have to go there!”
“Pfffh, yeah right. Trust me, you don’t want to entertain my grandparents in a country that they don’t trust, in a household without meat or dairy, and in a city that’s so sinful, having a granddaughter living here is a shame to them. Believe me, going there is better than having them here.”
Jared pulls me close and presses his lips against my temple.
“I’d still prefer it if you stayed.”
“I miss my parents, Jared. And I haven’t seen my brothers in like, forever. I want to go. But,” I nuzzle my nose into his neck, “you may miss me and when I come back, I’m sure you make it worth a wait.” I end with pecking him.
“I know. I don’t want to make you feel bad for going. But I’ll miss you
tons. And next time I’m coming with you.”
“Next time, we’ll be a family going there.”
We fall silent and just enjoy each other’s company. It must have been weeks since we’ve last done this, just sitting and talking. He was usually busy working. Before we both drift off to sleep, I have a last thought.
“Are you coming to the doctor with me tomorrow?”
“When is it?” His voice is already sleepy, I hope he remembers in the morning.
“It’s at 11.30.”
“Okay. I’ll come with you…”
He goes quiet and I nuzzle my nose in his shirt. He smells so good…
With his scent in my nose and his arms around me, I fall asleep on his chest.
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