“You’re in My Body” Part 44 “Santa Clause Through The Back Door” by earthtomaggie
Santa Clause Through The Back Door
I stare at my reflection in the mirror of my vanity table. The room is only lit up by the light here and my bedside lamp. Cocking my head I closely watch myself.
I’ve been fitter before. There are dark circles under my eyes, even though I’m tired all the time I don’t sleep as much. And when I do get some sleep, it’s often a very troubled one, I wake up a lot to go pee and I have a lot of nightmares.
I run my fingers over my skin on my face, touch my nose, my ears and my cheeks until they reach my lips. Even though life’s not too easy right now, there’s still a smile on my lips. A pretty big one. And the ring on my finger. It sparkles in the dim light, I can’t get enough of looking at it. I often catch myself just looking at it. For one thing, it’s really beautiful, and also it’s the symbol of Jared asking me to be his wife. I can’t wait to be. When I showed Constance the ring on her birthday yesterday, she started crying, and since she was crying, I cried too. Shannon and Jared just looked at each other, very confused. She thanked me for making her son so happy and welcomed me into the family with a big hug. All she said to Jared was “finally” before she wrapped her arms around him. It was a beautiful day, only the four of us, Clarissa is spending the holidays with her family in Georgia. We had cake and talked about everything and nothing, it was amazing. We’ll be seeing them tomorrow, Shannon had dinner with his mom and then went out to a party. Constance will be joining us for tea tomorrow and then we’ll all have dinner together.
I put some moisturizer on my face, my neck and my chest and lift my shirt up to put some oil on my belly to prevent stretch marks. Jared comes out of the bathroom, open hair and shirtless. He’s only wearing pajama pants. He looks amazing. I smile at him in the mirror and he steps behind me, kissing his way up from my wrist over my arm and my shoulder up to my ear.
“Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispers.
Then he kneels down next to me and presses his lips on my belly. “Merry Christmas, little one!”
I drive my fingers through his hair. He rests his head against my chest and closes his eyes.
“I liked how peaceful it was in church. Very peaceful!”
We went to a service tonight, I always go on Christmas Eve. It’s very important to me, and tell myself to go more often, but I never get to do it. Jared started to come with me two years ago, it’s not something he usually does, but on Christmas Eve, we made it our little thing to go to church.
I bury my nose in his hair. “I know. It was done beautifully.”
He opens just one eye and looks at me.
“What am I getting for Christmas?”
I laugh. On the day before he always gets very excited, like a little kid. Around Christmas and his birthday his eyes always sparkle and he acts a little more carelessly. I love him for it.
“I’m not telling you!”
“Oh come on!” He gives me his puppy eyes and pouts.
It’s funny, he’s not into material things at all, he’d probably be angry if I gave him something like a car. But he still wants to know what he’s getting. I really hope he likes his present this year…
“Honey, it’s more about the thought that people put into the present than about the present itself,” I scold him like a kid.
He grins. “Yes, I know. So what did you think about while you got it?”
I smile. “You. I always think about you.”
I can watch the childishness leave and the grown up come back. But that’s not a bad thing, he looks at me with a lot of love in his eyes and caresses my cheek with his knuckles.
“Wow. That’s such a beautiful thing to say.”
I smile back. His face comes closer and closer and all I can think about is his lips on mine. When they finally touch, I close my eyes and let out a small moan. Our kiss soon evolves into something a little more wild and untamed, our tongues fighting for dominance, me pulling a little on his open hair and he with my jaw in a tight grip. With a little pressure in his touch, he signals me to get up and in our weird embrace, he walks us to the bed and slowly sinks us down.
I’m lying on my back and he kneels next to me, planting soft kisses everywhere. My jaw, my neck, down to my chest and the fabric of my shirt. His lips travel over my cleavage and his hands massage my breasts.
“Careful… they might leak,” I warn him. I’ve woken up several times with a wet shirt now, I need some breast pads.
“Don’t worry, it’s okay…” he whispers against my skin. My fingers are in his wonderful soft hair that’s falling down his face. His one hand travels down my belly and comes to a rest on top of it.
“I can’t wait for this baby to be born and for us to get married… you’re so wonderful. So soft and warm…” he smiles against my skin before he kisses and licks over it again. I close my eyes and smile.
“Your boobs got so big!”
I snort. “That’s just what happens.”
“I like it,” he murmurs and buries his nose in between. His nose travels up again to my neck and nuzzles against it, making me giggle.
“ I’ve been thinking…” he starts but doesn’t continue.
“You… do you want Santa to come through the back door?”
I frown and open my eyes. “What?!”
“I wrote an entire song about it, but I never actually got to do it. Which is weird, since this is our fourth Christmas together!”
I raise my eyebrows. “You really want to have anal sex right now because you wrote a song about it?”
His eyes darken. “No, I want to have anal sex because… well. I want anal sex.” He stops for a second. “You got a problem with that?”
“Nope, just checking!” I grin and let him turn me on all fours. My knees hurt.
“This is not going to work like this.”
“It hurts already, and you haven’t even started yet!”
He pushes slightly and makes me lay down on my side. “Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
His hand brushes the hair out of my face and kisses my cheek again, then he lets his lips travel to my mouth again. His tongue caresses my lips tenderly and his hands cup my face. My hand falls down to his crotch and I feel his hardness through the fabric of his sweat pants. He grunts silently when I touch him, the lust is written on his face. He wants it now, but I can’t do too much of it, it exhausts me so much, so I will have to get him off well. The baby is kicking excitedly in my belly, it knows something’s going on, but the feeling of being watched by our own child is making me a little nervous, so I delete that thought off my mind as fast as I can. He rises a little and his hands travel south again, over my breasts and my belly. There he replaces them with his lips and covers the bump and what’s left of my hips and my legs with kisses. Then he lets them travel back up and lifts up my one leg. I put my one arm under my head so I can watch him, but as soon as his lips make contact with my clit through the fabric of my underwear, I go soft and close my eyes. He puts my calf over his shoulder and softly soaks my panties with his saliva. I moan softly and want to touch him so badly. 69ing would be great, but there’s a little human in the way…
He pulls down the silk that’s been covering me and licks softly through my pussy. I cry out in pleasure, he makes me so hot! Out of the drawer in his nightstand he fishes a bottle of lube.
I watch him. “Are you far enough yet?” I lift myself off the mattress a little. “You know I could do a little something there.”
“No!” he almost yells. “No, please, Maggie, I’ve been watching you for the last twenty minutes and I’m already hot as hell… if you want this done, you should let me do this now.”
I frown. “ You’ve been watching me? I haven’t done anything…”
His hand caresses my thigh. “Baby, you were looking at yourself and so caught up in you, which gave me the opportunity to just look. You usually catch me staring at you, but this time you didn’t and it shows me how damn beautiful you really are. And when you started putting lotion on your body… damn, we should do this now!”
I laugh. “Go ahead. Do it.”
While slowly jerking himself, he spreads lube on my ass. I shiver when the cold fluid hits my skin. He still has my leg over his shoulder and I moan when his index finger spreads the lube and slowly pushes in. I love anal sex. It’s fucking hot. I love when his entire length is in me, before I got pregnant you could actually feel his dick when you put your hand on my stomach.
His other hand puts some more lube on the hole and he inserts a second finger. They move around in me, and I put my hand over my eyes. Don’t ask me why, for some reason, it makes it more enjoyable. His fingers spread me, making the hole bigger for his enormous length.
The head pushes against my entrance and spreads it even further, causing me to groan. I grab the sheets and try to relax, but it doesn’t really work. He’s just too fucking large.
“You’ll tell me when to stop, right? When it’s too much?”
I think: “Get the hell out of my head!!”
I say: “Don’t worry about it, just take me, please!”
His grip on my hip tightens when he pushes further into me. I tense the deeper he enters me, but the lube does its job. It doesn’t really hurt when he moves inside of me.
Every thrust makes him moan and every jerk out makes him suck in his breath. Whenever his balls hit my ass cheeks I groan. It feels so good…
Soon the familiar pull of my muscles sets in and I feel how my pussy clenches. My asshole tightens around him while he pushes me more and more towards my orgasm. I open my eyes and try to read his facial expression, but that’s not that hard. His mouth is wide open and his eyes are closed.
“Make me cum, Jared! Oh please, make me cum!!” I scream, and as a response his nails dig deep into my flesh.
“Yes!” he grunts and I take that as a sign to release and let go. My muscles clench hard around him, I scream and my body convulses uncontrollably. His semen shoots inside of me, and he lets out a loud moan before he lets himself fall down next to me on the mattress.
As soon as I can move again, I turn around and caress his face with my fingers. “I hope that was enough for you… I’m sorry I don’t have more energy.”
He shakes his head slowly. “That’s okay.”
We lay like that for quite a bit. His breathing slows down slowly and mine too. Wrapping his arms around me he pulls me close and buries my head in his chest. I hear his heartbeat and smile. He’s incredibly healthy.
“My beautiful, smart, funny and sexy baby mama… I often wonder where I’d be without you.”
I laugh. “You’d be in the exact same place, only not with me but with some hot chick you just met and fucked.”
“I don’t think I’d still be alive.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I mean it.”
I wake up from a moving on the mattress. I squint and slowly open my eyes. It’s raining outside. Turning around, I look into excited blue eyes.
“Merry Christmas!” he greets me with sheer thrill in his voice.
“Merry Christmas.” My voice sounds crackly, but I’m also excited. I love Christmas.
“Come on, come on, come on!!!” He takes my hand and pulls me out of bed, with the biggest grin on his face.
“Ey, pregnant woman here. I carry valuable freight!”
“Sorry.” With a little more patience he helps me get up, but then he already pulls me towards the door.
“Stop it, Jared! I have to pee!” He gives me a disappointed look. “Why don’t you get started already?” I offer.
“Alright,” is all he says and is already on his way out. “Just stockings, okay?” I call after him. God, I swear, sometimes I feel like I already have a child!
Ten minutes later I’m wrapped in a warm pullover and I also put on some pajama pants. Jared sits shirtlessly in front of the fireplace with his stocking in his hand while I sink down on the couch with my one hand on my belly and the other one on my back. Seven and a half months is brutal. I’m a little sick of it…
In Germany, hanging stockings is not a common tradition, so we went with Jared’s family tradition to do the stockings. There are only small things in it, and a lot of candy.
I watch Jared retrieve some candy canes, some drawing pens, a little game that’s somewhat comparable to a Rubik’s cube, tea bags in different flavors, a few sweets, a new colored pair of socks, a Bath And Body Works hand sanitizer and a little Christmas ornament for our tree, it’s a little golden snow flake. Then there are some almonds in the shell in it and an orange.
He turns around to me with the biggest grin. “Thank you so much!!” he squeals.
I grin back. “You’re welcome!”
“Don’t you want to see yours?” he asks with a small frown on his face.
“No, I do! I just wanted to watch you first! Would you mind handing it to me, baby?”
Laughing, he gets up and takes my stocking off the board over the fireplace by lifting the skull over it. He’s handing it to me and sits down next to me when I suddenly remember something.
“Honey, there should be one other thing in your stocking!”
He frowns and puts his hand back in. “I thought I got every- oh wait, there it is.” He pulls out his hand and looks at the small thing. I bite my lip to keep myself from laughing and hug his arm. “Don’t you like it?” I grin.
He takes a closer look at the set of pink hair ties as if to check the quality. Then he can’t take it anymore. He starts to laugh too and puts them down together with the rest. “They’re great! I’ll put it in later…”
“You don’t have to, they were just a joke!”
“No, no, it’s okay. Just because they’re pink you think I won’t use them? You’re wrong, my dear! And now, do it! Check out your stocking!”
I get out the most beautiful red sparkly nail polish from Lancôme, a new cute set of pearl studs that have a rosé shimmer, the Michael Bublé Christmas album, a gift certificate for the place I usually get my pedicures at, a pretty bookmark with a picture of the two of us on it together, also a pair of socks, the annual subscription to Harper’s Bazaar, and a little folded note. When I open it, it says:
“You’re the light of my life and the angel that saved me from hell. I don’t want to spend another day without you in my life. I love you –J”.
“That’s beautiful! Thank you so much! All of this is… just great!”
“You’re welcome! Man, I want to open the rest.” He looks at our tree, big and bright with the red Christmas balls and the little ornaments and the angel on top. All around there are big and small boxes, about twenty to thirty boxes, and the ones from Constance and Shannon are still missing. As for my part, there are some things that didn’t fit into the stocking, so I put them under the tree as well, even though they actually belong into the stocking. I also put the two little boxes with the stocking items for Constance and Shannon under the tree for now, I didn’t want them to fall down during the night in case they are too heavy.
I put my arms around him. “You just have to be patient. We said we wanted to do this when we’re all together.”
“I know… we’re really stupid for saying that!”
“Don’t be such a baby and make your fiancé something to eat.”
He grins. “My fiancé… that sounds so great!”
Twenty minutes later we sit at the kitchen table and eat pancakes and scrambled egg substitute with toast. Jared has gotten the mail in and we open Christmas cards.
“This one’s in German,” says Jared and hands me a blue card. I look over it quickly.
“That’s from my Grandmother, the one I don’t talk to. I guess she didn’t do her mail herself this year.”
He gives me a strange look but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t understand that I’ve fallen out with her, to him family is everything. But he has never met her, so he only knows everything from tales. He probably thinks there’s more to it than her just not appreciating me because I’m a girl and I say what I think, as if we came from the Middle East or something.
I open another letter. While I read the piece of paper my heart starts racing and my head starts turning. I feel the blood leaving my face.
“What’s wrong, honey?” he asks me. When I don’t react, he gets up to stand behind me and reads it too.
“Maggie. Maggie, drop it. Now. Let go!”
I let it fall down next to my plate on the pile of cards and letters. Laying there in the light makes the glued on letters stick out even more.
“Get your hands off Jared, slut, or I’ll kill you.”
The letters are cut out of newspapers. It’s like in a bad movie. I can’t look away. Jared takes my hands and rests his head against mine. “It’s just a crazy letter. Nothing else.”
I look into his blue eyes and try to find my voice. “Somebody knows where we live. If that person’s really crazy, they could do… whatever they-“
“Shhhhh…” he wraps his arms around me and pulls me against his chest. “Let’s call the police, okay?”
I hesitate before I nod. Cops in our house on Christmas morning? But before somebody stands in front of my driveway and waits to kill me and my baby, I rather invite strangers into the house on Christmas.
Jared takes the letter and leaves the room to make the call. I don’t feel like Christmas anymore, or eating for that matter. I push my plate away from me and caress my baby bump. It seems like the baby is still sleeping, it hasn’t moved in some time. Thank god, maybe when the baby sleeps it doesn’t feel all my stress.
I have received threats, even death threats via twitter, and about once a year somebody finds out my personal email address and sends me something “nice”. But never, not once, have we gotten something like this in the mail.
Jared comes back and puts down the phone. “They are sending somebody over.”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s going to be fine.”
“How do you know that?”
He shrugs and tries to smile reassuringly. “I just do.”
I shrug too. “When are they here?”
“They said something about 20 minutes.”
“Then I’ll go and change.”
When the doorbell rings half an hour later, we sit in on the couch at the tree. Jared made a fire we just stare into. I’ve always loved fire, I can look at it for hours. It calms me down and makes my muscles relax.
Jared gets up and opens the door to let them in. They introduce themselves as Det. Gording and Lt. Pollerton. Jared shows them the letter, and they bag it to take it with them. Jared offers them seats and some coffee. Taking the seat next to me, he takes my hand into his. When everybody’s comfortable, I straighten out my red and golden dress and rest my hand on the bump.
“Can we ask you a few questions? Or do you not feel in the right condition to do that at the moment?”
I try to look a little more alive and fake a smile. “No no, sure, let’s do this, that’s what you came for!”
“Have you received any threats before?”
“No. Only sometimes online via twitter, or sometimes in my email. But never in the daily mail. And it was never anything serious.”
“Do you know anybody that might want to harm you or physically hurt you?”
I shake my head.
“Did you have a fight with anybody lately?”
Jared seems to come back from a distant place when he suddenly looks at the detective. “Tammy.”
He quickly explains the story, and the officers seem to deem it worthy of attention.
“We also need the envelope, there has to be a stamp on it. And we need the full name of that lady, and maybe some other information, like the place where she works or an address.”
Jared nods and picks up a piece of paper to write it down.
“Anything else? Anybody that carries a grudge against you?”
I slowly shake my head. “I can’t think of anything right now.”
“Okay. I would like to advise you to be careful. Whenever you feel like somebody’s following you, you should be extra careful, and you shouldn’t be outside on your own. We will look into it and find out who wrote that letter. If you think of anything else or if you see somebody, call us.”
I nod and push myself up to accompany them out, when my eyes go black and I fall back down.
“Maggie, are you okay?”
I mumble something that not even I can understand and feel how Jared’s arms wrap around my legs to put them up.
“I’ll get you a glass of water.”
I hear his steps leave the room and try to breathe. My eyes are shut tightly, but I feel the tears well up. Gosh, somebody explain to me when I became such a crybaby!!
The fear of some person in the dark with a gun or a knife has a tight grip around my heart. What did I do to deserve this? Who did I hurt so much that they want to kill me? Or is it just some crazy jealous fan girl?
“Miss, we will do anything in our power to find the person who wrote that letter, and we will do everything we can to make sure to get that person off the streets.”
I open my eyes and look at Lt. Pollerton. Before he spoke, I didn’t know the two were still there.
“Thank you,” is all I can whisper.
“And it was in the mail?” asks Constance.
“Yes! In a totally normal looking envelope, nothing special at all. We thought it was a Christmas card.”
She and Jared are making Christmas dinner in the kitchen while I still lie on the couch. Jared made sure that the only times I got up today were to go to the bathroom, and he helped me there every fucking time. And I go to the bathroom a lot. My knees are still a little shaky and I’m nervous, but I’m okay, I guess. Actually Jared and I wanted to make dinner for all of us, but that didn’t work, so we asked Constance if she could come over a little earlier. Shannon still hasn’t shown up, I wonder where he is. Still at a friend’s house. I hope.
“That poor little thing,” Constance says. “With the pregnancy and the trouble she had with you, and then the problems with the girl in Hawaii… it’s too much for her. She’s seven and a half months pregnant, the baby is getting affected by that too! You need to make sure that she doesn’t get upset like this again!”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“If you should, God forbid, get another one of those letters, you need to guarantee that she doesn’t get to see it, and that the letter gets to the police.”
“You want me to lie?”
“Do you want her to go into early labor?”
Then there’s silence. I exhale slowly. I don’t want to find another letter. I don’t ever want to think about this again, and if there’s another one, I don’t want to know about it unless it’s necessary. The vision of that shadow in our driveway that I made up earlier today is creeping back on my and I slowly shake my head to forget it again.
I hear Shannon come in, and Jared explains to him what happened.
“Oh shit!” I hear him say. They talk for a little while before Shannon comes in and falls down in his chair. We just look at each other for a couple of seconds in silence.
“Are you okay?” he then asks. He’s wearing his glasses, sweats and a t-shirt and his hair is slicked back in a bun.
“I guess,” I answer. I really don’t know.
“It ruins the Christmas fun.”
He grins. “Where were you?” I ask him.
“At a friend’s house. I was a little too drunk to drive last night.”
Jared and Constance come in. My fiancé is wearing the biggest smile on his face and his camera in his hand. He snaps a photo of his brother and then turns around to me, but I put my hand up in protest.
“No, please! I look horrible.”
“I promise I won’t put it up anywhere.”
I lower my hand and try to fake a smile. He captures it and then puts the camera away. “Gifting time!”
We start to exchange gifts. I got Jared a pair of knitted gloves, a framed photo of us, I bought him cuff links, actually just for fun since he’s been wearing shirts to galas and parties lately, but I keep the biggest thing until the end. I ask Shannon to get up and get it for me and he comes back with a big flat box with a red bow around it.
“What is this?” he asks with a big grin on his face. His eyes are shining like diamonds (thank you Rihanna) when he unties the bow and opens the box.
“No… No… NO!” he laughs. He opens it for everybody to see. It’s a Damien Hurst.
“It’s the Hydroxylysine, finished in 2010,” I explain.
It’s the same style that he took photos with last year in some art gallery, so when I was looking through an art catalogue online, I found it in a gallery in NYC and had it shipped here.
“Maggie… this is worth at least $75,000.” He looks at me with his mouth open and a half shocked, half happy facial expression.
I actually paid $100,000 for it, but it was well worth it. I wanted to do this, and I had saved money for something like this for longer.
“Don’t worry about it, I got it covered.”
He pulls me down in his arms and gives me a loving kiss. “Thank you. Thank you so much!”
“You’re welcome! I’m glad you like it.”
“I love it! Wow….”
The Letos all understand more of art than I do. I like to go through galleries, but I’m not a person that can look at a painting for two hours. For me, 15 minutes is a max, and even that I only do once a year. But now, Constance, Shannon and Jared are all staring at it. I watch their facial expressions. They’re all deeply amazed and just look at the dots of color that graze the paper. I wonder what’s going through their heads, the first thing I thought of when I saw it was bed sheets from IKEA this year, they basically look the same.
From Shannon, Jared gets a framed picture of the two of them with their dogs when they were still alive. Jared had never seen it before and chokes up a little when he sees it. He also gives him another skeleton for the house and an ecological thermostat, it’s so great! It shows if you’re saving energy or not and it’s another item to make our house more ecologically sustainable. I love it.
Shannon gives me a beautifully knitted scarf and a sweater, both from the men’s department of one of his favorite stores and also both extremely colorful. They remind me of the ones he usually wears and I’m always so jealous of them. So he got me my own version of it and I love it.
Next Constance gives out her gifts. They are very thoughtful as always, and the great thing about her presents is that they are actually useful. She gives us some stuff for the baby and a beautiful Native American blanket to put on the end of our bed. She also gives each of us a book. Shannon also gets a bag, a little similar to the one Jared uses when he’s touring. It looks a little like a purse, but it’s in fact very useful, and Shannon loves it. He usually just carries his entire crap around with him. Each of us gets a pair of knitted socks that have some leather parts, so it’s more of a slipper. They’re sooooo cozy, so I have Jared put them on my feet right away. It’s not like I can see them, my big belly is in the way, but they feel great!
I love Constance’s presents. We got her a jacket, very colorful and perfect for LA spring weather, and a matching scarf. Jared and Shannon together managed to get her a really old camera, since Constance is into photography as well, and also a couple of matching films for it. Shannon also threw in a photo book for his mom with pictures from Louisiana. We look through it a little, it’s beautiful!
From Jared, Shannon gets a book with photos he took throughout the last tour. It was a lot of work and he loves it. He also gives a bottle of the new Hugo Boss Fragrance that Jared is promoting, it’s not even on the market yet.
I got Shannon shoes. One black pair and a red one. I know his size since he took me shopping with him once and ever since I love dressing Shannon. I also found him a new pair of sunglasses. It’s very easy to make Shannon happy for Christmas.
Then Jared and I are the only ones left. “Now to you,” he smiles. “I guess my presents can’t top your art, but I hope you still like it,” he says while retrieving the last couple of boxes from under the tree.
I start with the smallest one. “This was just for fun,” he grins and watches me while I tear off the wrapping paper. It’s a bunch of Jeff-Dunham-DVDs who I adore. He’s so funny, and I’ve always tried to go to one of his shows but I never got a chance.
“Haha, thank you, this is so great!”
In the next box is a stole from Hermés, brown wool and cashmere with a leather lining. I squeal when I see it. I love Hermés!
The next one contains a huge purse from YSL with a removable shoulder strap. “It’s extra big, so you can fit in some diapers and an extra set of clothes for the baby and pacifiers and what not,” he informs me.
“Awesome,” I smile.
He also gives me a handmade gift certificate to take me on a big shopping spree once the baby is born, since he’s felt a little bad for me during my pregnancy.
“There’s one more thing, but it’s more for the both of us than just for you.”
“What is it?!”
He slips outside into the next room and pulls something white behind him. It’s a cradle. My jaw drops and I hold out my hand so that he can pull me slowly to my feet. Once I stand, I look at it closely and run my fingers over it. It’s all white and it is fully equipped with a mattress and little ruffles and everything. It’s every mother’s dream.
“Is it too much?” he asks and scratches the back of his head.
“No, I love it. It’s amazing. The baby will have the sweetest dreams.”
“It’s beautiful, Jared,” Constance says and Shannon nods.
I smile at him. “Well done, Daddy!”
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